problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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