o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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