bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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