What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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