a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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