Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize