i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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