so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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