Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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