His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize