I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize