OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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