Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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