I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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