where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize