i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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