He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize