Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize