I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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