ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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