He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize