you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
a search helicopter?!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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