she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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