So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
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You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
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Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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