normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
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Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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