every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
