So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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