she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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