mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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