I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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