My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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