Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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