**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize