Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize