Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize