Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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