Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize