i don't like sucking hair
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize