i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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