He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize