He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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