Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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