it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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