i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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