yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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