i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
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For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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