after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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