i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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