I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize