I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize