i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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